Full moon

Worked last night, there must have been a full moon because everyone we attended except was as fruity as a nut cake. We went to a young guy who cut himself on purpose with a carving knife. He slashed his forearm and did a good job of it. One of our other crews took him in again because he said the wound was still bleeding even though it had been sutured. I've got a funny feeling that this guy is going to become a regular thorn in our sides. We've been to him three times this week already and he has only been living in the area for two weeks.
Another drug and alcohol fuelled man had stabbed himself in the abdomen and had cut his own throat. That wasn't so bad, the bad bit was that he had hepatitis B and was threatening to spit blood on everyone. No-one could get near him so the police rushed him, bundled him into the police van and took him to hospital them selves.
We are also called to a man threatening to jump off a building and has a machete. His flat is also full of weapons. There were police everywhere all done up in riot control gear ready to take him down. His younger brother turned up and was taunting the police who weren't having any of it. As he walked past us he cracked open another bottle of beer and necked it, smashing the bottle on the ground and doing an about turn ready to confront the police again. He was sent on his way again which really pissed him off, well at least I think he was pissed off due the colourful language he was using. The police said that they would have nicked him if they had more officers available. This time he was lucky. There are more but I've forgotten, we have so many round here!